Dangyunhaji
by Hyunjin
Summary: A crack fic based on a Korean Game show game 'DangyunhajiOf Course'. Full of fluffy randomness. Pairings to follow. Rated for language.
1. Intro

_I based this fluffy/random story off of a Korean Game Show game called 'Dangyunhaji' (which means 'Of Course'). _

_Disclaimer: I don't own bleach or the game. _

_Warnings: Nothing in this chapter._

**

* * *

**

**Intro**

The spotlight flashed on a set where people stood in a horizontal line. Behind them, a giant X decorated the wall, with symmetrical columns on either side.

As the room lit up, the camera zoomed in on the tall stool in the center. On it was a tiny stuffed lion. He separated the two teams of eight people.

The blue team, on the left, wore matching blue shirts with an X on the front. It consisted of Shihouin Yoruichi, Kurosaki Ichigo, Asano Kiego, Ishida Uryu, Matsumoto Rangiku, Hinamori Momo, Madarame Ikkaku, and Honsho Chizuru.

The red team, on the right, wore similar shirts but red in color. This team consisted of Urahara Kisuke, Inoue Orihime, Arisawa Tatsuki, Hitsugaya Toshiro, Zaraki Kenpachi, Kuchiki Rukia, Abarai Renji, and Asasegawa Yumichika.

The team captains, Yoruichi and Urahara, stood immediately to the left and right of Kon, the stuffed animal.

The MC, Kon, announced "In this game, as long as you have a mouth and a good reaction…"

Everyone took their cue and shouted "Dangyunhaji (Of Course)" together, simultaneously waving a triumphant fist across their chests.

Kon continued "The team captains will choose one player from their team to battle. The players will then come to the front," Kon pointed at the two colored circles on the floor in front of him, "And take turns battling each other using only words. ANYTHING GOES! Insults, gossip… But the other player must say 'Of Course!' at the end of it. The player who fails to verify the statement will lose the round."

MC Kon clapped his plushie paws together excitedly. "With no further to do…."

Again, the contestants yelled "Dangyunhaji!"

* * *

_It's short, but it's the introduction. What can ya say?_


	2. Ikkaku vs Yumichika

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the game._

_Warning: Nothing much. Maybe a swear word and some 'attempted' violence. And... it's a crack fic. _

* * *

**Dangyunhaji**

**Ikkaku vs Yumichika**

MC Kon shouted "Captains! Call your first contestants forward!"

Yoruichi turned to her team to pick a player. "Blue team calls Ikkaku to the floor!"

Everyone clapped as Ikkaku planted his feet on the blue circle.

Urahara cupped his chin thoughtfully as he examined the players dressed in red. "Yumichika!"

Laughter erupted as the dynamic duo was chosen to face off. They wondered what kind of silliness would ensue. As Yumichika went to stand in front of his bald buddy, the audience clapped for them.

A smirk climbed its way onto Ikkaku's face. "Ready Yumichika? I'm gonna show no mercy."

Yumichika brushed his hair with a hand. "Who said I wanted any?"

Zaraki's laughter rang over all others at this. "I wanna see some blood! Hear me?!"

Kon chuckled. "Then let's start with Ikkaku. Begin!"

Wasting no time on thought, Ikkaku spoke up. "The barber that cut your hair like that because she thought you were a _girl_, right?"

Kon chuckled. Both teams cracked up at the thought. Yumichika looked away with an offended "Ha!"

"Say 'Of course'," Kon reminded the pissed off Yumichika.

Yumichika's turn. An insult instantly slipped from his mouth. "Yo mama shaved your head because your natural hair color was poop brown, didn't she?"

Ikkaku rubbed his hairless head protectively as the audience giggled.

"Why you!" Ikkaku shouted, attempting to run at Yumichika. Ichigo and Renji held him back as Yumichika cowered in fear.

Kon slipped in. "Calm down Ikkaku. That was kind of a weak attack. But go on... Of course?"

"Of course," Ikkaku mimicked.

The baldy stared at the floor, thinking of his next attack. He chuckled as a certain memory involving apple pie and a fiery red head came to mind. "Okay," he said, delight in his eyes as he looked at his buddy.

"Do you remember that time I bought some apple pie…?" he began deviously.

The smirk on Yumichika's face melted off at the words. "Yeah, why do you have to bring that up?" Yumichika laughed nervously, glancing over Ikkaku's shoulder at someone on the blue team.

"Do explain," Yoruichi said, smelling some juicy gossip.

"Well," Ikkaku began, "It happened a month ago when I bought some apple pie. Yumichika and I were going to share it…"

Ikkaku paused for dramatic effect. "… Until a certain red head walked by…"

Everyone looked at Renji, the only red head present. The said red head's eyes widened at mention of that particular type of pie. Then he remembered the incident that Ikkaku was mentioning. "Wait a minute… it was you two?!"

Unaffected, Ikkaku stared into Yumichika's eyes. "Yumichika splattered it all over him and ran away."

Kon gaped at Yumichika for a second, admiring his bravery. "Is that true Yumichika?"

Yumichika laughed nervously. "Of course."

The two teams hollered.

This time, Renji was the one who needed to be restrained. Ikkaku and Ichigo grabbed his arms to keep him from beating the sh1t out of the pretty boy.

The laughter ceased. Still ticked off, Renji backed away. Yumichika drew a breath to come up with a counter attack. He even brought up a pointing finger at Ikkaku- but it was all futile.

"You…" he began threateningly. When he couldn't think of a decent come back, he released a small giggle. In all seriousness, he said "You know Renji is going to kill me for this after the show?"

The audience roared with uncontrollable laughter.

Yumichika returned to the red team defeated. His team members comforted him while they were still laughing.

Kon shouted over the din "KNOCK DOWN! Blue team wins round one!"

* * *

_End of Chapter One! Hope you enjoyed it! Please review! Next chapter: Rukia vs Ichigo and Renji. _


	3. Renji vs Rukia

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. _

_Warning: Nothing. It's just a little corny and OOC. I dunno anything about those dates._

* * *

**Dangyunhaji**

**Rukia vs Renji**

Urahara debated his choices. "Ahhh. Kuchiki Rukia."

She was applauded as she stepped on the red circle.

The tiny stuffed animal turned expectantly at Yoruichi. "I'll go with… Abarai Renji!"

Yumichika and Ikkaku both "Ooh"-ed as the lover boy took his place, pink color in his cheeks.

MC Kon announced "Renji will begin."

Renji didn't start immediately at first. He stared at the floor, shifting from foot to foot.

"Looks like love!" Kon said, causing the girls to giggle.

Rukia looked up at Renji eagerly (Rukia is so short, she is still shorter than Renji when he is slouching).

"Ah well…" Renji glanced up, blushing profusely. "You know you're beautiful, right?"

Everyone laughed, save for Ichigo. He crossed his arms over his chest. Rukia, oblivious, turned away and touched her pink cheeks.

Kon laughed. "Renji is taking the L-O-V-E approach! We have our first Romance on 'Dangyunhaji/Of Course!'" Then he sensed Ichigo's reaction, so he pointed to the orange top. "Ichigo! Are you jealous?!"

The teams all turned to Ichigo. His frown confirmed their belief. They laughed even louder.

"Okay, okay," Kon said. In other words, the doors to Laughter Lane were closed. "What do you say, Rukia?"

She gave Renji a small smile. She waved her fist triumphantly in front of her as she said "Of course."

"You know the color of your hair hurts my eyes right?" Rukia asked.

Their audience chuckled. But Renji remained mostly unaffected by the insult. He nodded. "Of course."

Renji examined the girl before him. He knew that he would lose if he tried to act all suave and compliment his way into her heart. But he couldn't think of anything mean to say to her. After all, he really did think she was beautiful in that shirt.

Renji's eyes were serious when he asked her "Do you remember what happened on September 21st, February 9th, and June 13th?"

Rukia thought. "No."

Renji continued, "On those days, it probably rained a lot."

"Why?" she asked.

"Why?" Kon, Ichigo, and several others echoed.

"I cried on those days because you descended to Earth," Renji concluded.

Rukia looked away, blushing several shades of red.

The laughter erupted. The girls on both teams went weak at the knees and clutched each other dramatically. The boys hooted, except Ichigo, who was focusing all of his energy into a deadly stare.

"Of course?" Kon reminded Rukia through chuckles.

Rukia nodded, flustered. "Of course."

She couldn't think of anything to say. Her childhood friend, liking her? "Are you crazy?"

"Of course." Renji said, easily brushing by her statement.

Renji thought, _now it's time I bring out the big guns_. "Rukia, do you like me?"

Rukia walked away a tiny bit, covering her mouth with her hand. She was temporarily in shock. Everyone let out a long "Ooooh."

At this point, Rukia seemed almost defeated. To win, she would have to say that she did like him.

Meanwhile, Ichigo was burning holes into Renji's back. His teammates, Kiego and Ikkaku, were clapping him on the back and shaking him in effort to subdue his jealousy.

Inoue and Tatsuki ran to Rukia's side and pulled her back to the stage.

Once everyone was calm and composed, including Rukia, she replied "Of course."

There was more laughter and more "Oooh"s.

Ichigo let out a loud "HA!" being obviously ticked off. He raised a hand as if he was about to smack Renji from behind. Matsumoto and Kiego got in his way and pushed him back.

"Of course I like you, Renji," Rukia said. "But… you know I like you as a _friend_ right?"

"_You know I like you as a _friend_ right?"_

The audience hollered. Several screaming "OOOH!" at the top of their lungs. Ichigo sighed in relief.

Kon was having the time of his life. He laughed so hard, he fell off the stool.

Renji laughed, good-naturedly accepting his defeat.

"KNOCK DOWN!" Kon shouted, after he climbed back onto his perch. "Red team wins!"

Rukia clapped as Renji retreated. But he turned around to say, "You know it was a joke, right?"

More laughter.

Over the racket, Yoruichi shouted "Ichigo is up next!"

* * *

_AN: Up next is Rukia vs Ichigo. If anyone has anything they want the characters to say (insults, compliments, mushy junk, etc.) tell me!_


End file.
